


Lonely

by o0SleepyPanda0o



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: F/M, Female Merlin (Merlin), Immortal Merlin (Merlin), One-Sided Attraction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:08:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24960571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/o0SleepyPanda0o/pseuds/o0SleepyPanda0o
Summary: Merlin hopes that Arthur will return soon, she isn't sure how long she'll last.
Relationships: Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 54





	Lonely

It’s been a long time, but she can remember it as clear as day. All the friendships and heartache, all the love. She can remember drinking with Gwaine and running after Arthur. But most of all, she can remember Arthur’s death. 

Arthur had been her lifeline, he was everything. Merlin had been in love with him, even if he liked Gwen. Merlin… she was upset, but she loved Gwen as a sister, there’s no one else she’d rather have been with Arthur. 

Merlin broke the day Arthur died. She couldn’t go back to Camelot, not when his ghost haunted her every step. She couldn’t go back to the place that she had served him, had fallen in love with him. 

If she ever went back, Merlin would see him in the corner of her eye, the places he loved most. Merlin couldn’t stand that. It was her fault he died. If only she just listened to that stupid dragon and let Mordred die! 

No… Her thoughts are mixing. It’s not entirely Mordred's fault. He did kill Arthur, he did ruin Merlin’s life, but it wasn’t all his fault. It was Morganas as well as Merlins. 

Morgana had turned to the dark side without a second thought. She had turned on the innocent people she defended, took her rage on everyone around her. Morgana targeted those who cared for her most. 

But it was Merlin's fault it came to that point. If she had told Morgana about her magic, allowed her to confide in Merlin, then none of the past would have happened. Morgana had turned out of fear, and Merlin just helped that fear grow. 

Fear was a scary thing, Merlin had decided long ago. It was usually formed into anger, because people didn’t want to show weakness. Merlin had always thought it stupid. She had feared Arthur, not of his moral, but of his temper. Yet never did she ever feel hate for him. 

It was stupid to even think about. As if she could ever hate Arthur. Just as Merlin risked her life over and over for him, he did the same for her. 

Arthur had forgotten Merlin at points, she’s not going to pretend that didn’t hurt. It hurt that she could just be tossed out of his mind just like that. Granted most times he was too relieved or angry to think straight, it still gnawed at her heart. 

Merlin loved him, she would give his life for his, so how could he have forgotten her at the drop of a hat? Even when he had finally remembered her it didn’t bother him. Merlin remembered that Arthur had even insulted her once. 

It wasn’t that Merlin hated Arthur insulting her, he’d give anything for it now. But to know that Arthur hadn’t cared in the slightest was painful. Merlin knew that she meant a lot to him, just not as much as he was to her.


End file.
